SO I knew that because of the dream I would want to fight with him today. But I seriously tried not to. I knew why I was feeling hurt and insecure...i knew it was just a stupid realistic dream, but I couldn't help it. I tried calling him all day, honestly I wanted to tell him about it and hear him reassure me I was the only one in his life blah blah. Its weird cause we are so...I don't know what we are. We are getting along and I mean working on our marriage..but I have said before that I think both of us have settled into the together but not routine and we like where we live and our lives apart and together.
Anyway off topic...so I called like 5 times today, he never answered. This is an ongoing fight of ours because the main reason I won't move back to russellville is because I have always been less important then his job. His son gets put in the hospital, he can't go with me cause he has to work, i am puking my guts out with two small children, he has to go cause he can't miss work, mind you everyone else does miss, and its not that kind of job where he can't miss. He actually is in upper management and computer something or another so he is basically his own boss. I was this wife he kept hidden at home and had this whole separate life at work. And then once we started getting along he wouldn't talk to me in front of this B**** named Whitney. He would wait till he was on a smoking break...
Which have I mentioned that he is smoking again? When I first started dating him and was soooo infatuated with him, he smoked and i worked with him to quit. He had been quit a good 7 years at LEAST no wait about 8 or 9 years. But because I left him when he got into the angry stage he started smoking cause he knew I wouldn't want him to. Sigh which on a side note is prolly the only reason we are getting along cause when he gets frustrated and angry he just smokes and the whole world is better. So I haven't really pushed him to quit, except to remind him it was the stupidest thing he has ever done.
OK off topic again...so he wouldn't talk to me except when away from work, then i was visiting him and someone saw us and called him and asked who was in the car with him and he just said a friend. ANYWAY how did i even get off this....let me reread....haha...OH yes so it is kinda an ongoing argument about him not talking to me except when he is on his lunch or on his way home, which actually is frustrating cause if something is wrong with the kids i can call 100 times and he won't answer.
So today i really just wanted to talk to him and he wouldn't answer so then around 5:30 he calls. I am short and he says he left his phone at home and didn't know my number. Ok first off he didn't know my number?!! wth? I mean what if something goes wrong...what if he doesn't have his cell and is stranded on the side of the road or worse something happens to the kids and he doesn't have his phone...plus it hurt...cause again it just showed how unimportant i am. BUT honestly all this was stupid and not important and i was just hurt cause the the stupid dream. I ended up clamming up and him just giving up and hanging up prolly thinking i was a nut cause he didn't do anything wrong.
Anyone know Andi Tuck from Chattanooga? I really would like to talk to her...grr she has caused me so much pain. I think her name is Andrea Tuck but she doesn't like Andrea so she goes by Andi. I have her phone number...anyone want to call her up for me? haha i am kidding, maybe she will google her own name and it will bring her up here. If she does I Hope she emails me.
Know what I would ask her...seriously I would ask her how in the world she was walking along, tripped and landed mouth open on my husband....well you get the picture but yea i would ask her that. And I would ask her if she knew that there were two small children involved. And if she ever thought of that. Plus honestly just out of curiosity i want to know why she all the sudden dropped him...isn't that weird? I just want to know. I have to know and he just says that she stopped talkign to everyone but that just seems weird?
Anyway I am going to call him in a minute and explain and apologize i think haha.
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