Without a car AGAIN!!!

Hmm...where to start. Basically I don't even know, in fact I am not even sure I am going to give this out to anyone. I just really need somewhere to vent and as much as I keep deleting friends on myspace I still don't feel like I can just say what I am feeling totally. To start out, once again I am without a car.

Man maybe I should start at the begining...when I was married to Bobby I had a 05 ford escape and he had a 04 kia spectra. They were both in his name but only because I wasn't working I was going to school and staying home with the kids. I didn't realize at the time that was a bad idea, I mean I have really never had any credit because I went from my father paying for everything cause he didn't want me to work to quitting college to marry bobby and then getting pregnant right away. Anyway none of that matters.

So then when I left Bobby I took the Escape with me, but soon after he ended up totalling the kia. And since he owed 3500 on it and it was older they really didn't give him enough but to cover what he owed and he ended up giving me money to buy christmas. So being totally nice I gave him the Escape to use until he got another one. Well through all the fighting that was to follow when he went from begging me to come home to having a girl attached to his...well you know...he decided he wasn't going to give me back my car. Since I obviously couldn't afford to buy another car nor pay a lawyer to totally take him to court I was stuck fighting with him. I tried everything but nothing worked. He was so mean and horrible.

Anyway, I ended up buying the car from hell from a guy for 400 dollars. Granted any car that runs for 400 dollars is good, but this one had a huge rust HOLE in the side door, the front seat belt wouldn't latch so i had to hook it to the passenger side, and no air. It wasn't long before I realized that it was way too hot for the kids to be in that car so there it sat in the yard. Then Bobby ended up having to go on a trip flying out of Huntsville (where I live) and he knew that I would have access to the Escape so he willing to swap with me (basically he knew he had no choice). So we swapped and I don't know how long I kept it but I ended up going to a kia place here (after getting a great job) and getting me a new kia optima. He was jealous as heck so that added to the satisfaction of getting the new car. (don't worry karma bites me on the butt 20 x's over later).


Then Connor starts getting sick and I have to miss a ton of work, and end up changing jobs but he gets sicker and sicker and sicker and I end up having to stay home with him, but between all that mom gets into some financial probs and ends up filing for chapter 13 bankruptcy. Since I had the kia (which i forgot to say was in her name) and she had this crap van she let the van go and i gave her my brand new car. Leaving me once again without a car. But no way was I going to let her buy some crap car when she has worked her whole life and was so kind to let me move in, I was happy to be giving her the kia (plus happy to get out from under the payment since i was out of work)

My brother had a paid off Land Rover and so I offered to buy it from him for 250 a month and 8000 total, but it turned out it was a horrible car, i couldn't afford the gas and it ran horribly and the ooooga horn got stuck all the time. He had himself a VERY nice 2004 GMC Sierra pick up and ended up not wanting the car payment and said we could swap cars. So woo hooo I had the nice truck and he had his landrover back.

This lasted oh...um less than 2 months..which brings us to the present...So steven decides that He doesn't want the loan anymore (of course i can't get it in my name) and so he comes in today to tell me that he is going to sell the truck (not ask just that he is) and that I will just have to find something else.

I really can't say anything because I guess I should have known that it was all too good to be true but at the same time I want to scream.I left Bobby to have a happier life for the kids, I left because of the stress that was at our house. I moved here to make things better and they were but dammit I can't catch a break. I was going back to school and work come january and now all that is gone. Kinda hard to get there without a car (any job is at least 30 minutes away). The kids got so happy when we moved out, bobby became a better father, he realized what he was missing, and the kids had no stress. Catherine became relaxed and happy and Connor made leaps and bounds in his development. But everytime I start to get up I get knocked back down.

I really don't know whether to cry or scream or throw up. It really was the last thing I needed right now. I am struggling to find money to buy mom and the kids some more christmas presents. And by kids i don't mean my kids but my siblings. I know my brother doesn't deserve shit but I can't stand the thought of him not getting presents bugs me. Actually i currently am getting NOTHING and neither is mom, well she has one small present but thats it. I made sure and bought the kids (as in my kids) presents through the year but i thought i would be fine when it came down to the rest of us. And mom has absolutely no money she actually is trying to scrape up money for the house payment. Me and Bobby are getting along but he is broke too. I just don't know what to do. Everything is crumbling around me and I don't even have a freaking car to get a job for two weeks to get money.

Someone tell me how to get this bad luck black cloud off my shoulders please...I am doing everything I know, selling my ipod video and my wii and my freaking mac laptop..all for steals of a price. Sigh...but what if no one buys them.