So I am on wellbutrin (and love it) but one of the side effects are crazy dreams. Well depends, sometimes they are so real and about real situations I have to ask if that really happened, totally messes with my mind lol. Then other times it will be like I am watching some kind of movie, totally not part of my dream. The best dreams are what I call "therapy dreams" where I get to watch sitations played out that I am dealing with in real life, or in my dream I get to totally tell off someone that I would love to in real life. Waking feeling very refreshed, even if it didn't really happen. Then the downside are the dreams that leave you feeing weird all day, like once I was trapped in this warehouse with a serial killer and he had about 20 of us and we knew he was going to kill us we were just waiting, we had tried everything to get out. It was so real to me that I seriously thought I was really there. Now that feeling of desperation and thinking I would never see my kids again, I hate that kind and its a feeling I never want to feel.
But last night was a dream that I really wish hadn't happened. Of all the dreams I could take back this would be the one, even above the serial killer one. Another thing about these dreams are that even though I can see them clearly even after i am awake, i have a hard time describing the details to fill in. Anyway, so I was at this...i dunno...i guess apartment building thingie and I kept going to melindas room to talk. And brad billings was there too...which is weird cause he is a guy that i went to school with and i occasionally hide from at griners, not that he would speak to me anyway. Anyway he was just kinda here and there. At times we were back at hazel green high and other times we were at the apartment.
Bobby was there off and on, but when he was things were happy and good...it was nice. But then for some reason we had to go to Chatanooga to get something from Andi. For those of you who don't know, Andi was my husbands girlfriend...a sitation that hurt me worse then I thought was possible. So the fact that she is even in my dream messes me up, this is the first time she has appeared. We go to her house and all is good, he is with me, we are just there to get whatever...she stalls for like forever and then its time for us to go and he chooses to stay...i chew her out and he still stays...leaves me to go back alone...but the feeling of having to walk away knowing he chose to stay with her. Ugggg. So i come back and i go to talk to melinda about it and lol she says i have to wait cause ty is actually on extreme makeover haha.
I said a lot of things to her that I wish I could really say, and in my dream she was a nasty winch, which actually i don't know if i would rather believe she is evil, or some kinda of magical woman my husband couldn't help but fall in love with. I have seen a picture of her, I dont know why, yes I do, i was browsing his computer because...well i didn't trust him, but at that moment i was looking at his pictures of the kids and there she was multiple times. And I knew it was her. Anyway back to dream, he ended up coming back and we got into a huge fight and really it was never resolved.
Soooo today I feel like I am reliving the finding out he has a girlfriend and the hurt is very much fresh again. Which is stupid and makes me soooo mad cause I am past this, stupid dream. But somehow I am also relieved cause I got to chew her out. SO today I have to watch when I am talking to bobby because I know I will pick a fight, and it won't be his fault (well technically it is his fault lol) but you know what I mean.
Now I am going to go make catherines lunch, get her dressed, and go back to sleep. Thank goodness for mom taking her to school....oh how i love my mom :)
OH and officially ONE WEEK till Kristi comes home!!! YAY
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